Sunday, May 07, 2006

URRPP: UNITY Rubber Room Protection Plan


The UNITY Coordinating Hotline (UCH) reports a plan to squeeze even more money out of the members. As you Unityites know, we have offered as part of your UNITY dues structure, not only attendance at conventions (almost a thousand of us are in Rochester with two days off) at the members’ expense, but rubber room protection where our glorious leaders work behind the scenes on your behalf, even arranging transfers for you if you have problems with your principal. And if you should find yourself in the rubber room, we make sure you are treated well. We smuggle in chips and hot coffee and maybe even a sandwich or two. And we make sure you get chairs to sit on and not on rugs like the peons.

Now we are expanding our plan to the rest of the members. For just 10% of their salary we will offer them the same protection. (Well, maybe without the extra sandwich – that will be an additional 5%.) And for a few bucks extra we will even bribe your supervisors to leave you alone by offering them access to our special Top of the UNITY Pyramid (TUP) lounge in the penthouse at 52 Broadway. We can’t even repeat anything about the luxuries we have there so don’t ask or we will have to kill you.

The extra funds we collect will be used to buy upgrades for your hotels in Boston at the AFT convention this summer where you get to spend five days gamboling around Beantown at the members' expense.



At 12:37 PM, Blogger brownnose said...

Oh, great leader. this plan has me salivating just contemplating it.

I yearn for Monday, when I may touch the hem of your garment. I can barely contain myself. I am certain that great plans like this will result in your landslide re-election next year.

Can I get one of those jobs soon? Please?

At 4:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So it's like a rider for non-Unity chapter leaders because only they get sent to the RR? Great idea cheese head!
May I use my housing stipend for it?

At 9:41 AM, Anonymous Unity Guy said...

Non-Unity CCs will be sleeping at the bus station. Contact James Eterno for space, or if you'd like to hitchhike with another ICE member.

The UTP is riding a snake up and may have space. You can contact them on their blog.


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