Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Glory of Unity Revels in a New Covenant with Our Throbbing Members

Our union, headed by the illustrious and heartbreakingly beautiful, collopcoquesttish Le Gran Fromage, hallowed be Her name, has ventured into the beneficent business of aiding in the recruitment of pedagogues, that we may more readily enhance the lot of our youngsters. Now, the dystopian ICE followers, and Gloomy Guses everywhere may bemoan our lack of magnamosity toward the file and rank, the dark and dank, the sailed and sank, the sum at bank, the fishy tank, the common man, not to mention the distaff contingent, but I say, FIE on those ne'er do wells and miscreants, scattering their filth upon the barren ground of opposition.

Call me sesquipedalian, rapscallion, a philodox, even but I say, as I search for esprit de l'escalier, damn the zugzwang, and I refuse to live in canstant scheissenbedauern. Their tone is that of criticasters, sandblasters, forecasters, and Telecasters!

That should be proof enough to any rational soul that we've once again defended, to the core of our very beings, the right of every pedantic prig to be zealously defended, and thoroughly innocent until proven guilty, whether or not they've been tossed out on their rears for being in arrears as a result of the wonderful 90 day unpaid suspension we cannily negotiated. Le Gran Fromage, all glory be to Her name!

Therefore, the incentive for new teachers is a good thing, brought forth by Unity, and anyone who doesn't like it should not dare speak against Unity, as that is the height of heresy and barabarism.

Praise be to Le Gran Fromage, for all She does, come hither come nigh, for you and for I, and resist the resistentialism!


At 4:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your prose is dazzling as always.

At 10:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is this Brownnose person? He/she sounds like a great person to hang out with.

At 12:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brownnose is a great thinker. Right now he's thinking about imminent retirement and a Unity job to compensate for the income loss.

At 1:38 AM, Anonymous HOTFORBROWNNOSE said...

Oh Brownnose,

Once again your words tickle my soul with your whimsical wisdom. I am humbled and curse those that feel that our years of service should also be financially rewarded.
In fact, I was so moved, that I am going to suggest to LGF that every currently employed NYC teacher donate a year's salary towards food, clothes, furniture entertainment expenses, and a brand new Hummer to our newly arrived teachers-at-arms.

Yes, Yes! We should treat them like basketball superstars newly recruited to our DOE/Unity team!

At 1:41 AM, Anonymous Hotforbrownnose said...

I wanted to write "who feel" but the mayor's office prefers "that"

At 2:47 AM, Blogger Cleo Lacey said...


At 4:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That Cleo always finds just the right words. Thank God he works for Unity.

At 5:02 AM, Anonymous writing teacher said...

Brownnose used to be my student. I didn't understand him them either.

At 9:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ideally I get the 90 day unpaid, unproved suspension AND the Housing! Hooray for UNITY! Better yet I get the DOUBLE PENSION AND the suspension AND get to live w/ LGF!

At 1:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got my eye on LGF, and I'm better looking than you are.

At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys used to be somewhat effective satirists. You've become incredibly stale and impotent.

At 12:33 PM, Anonymous hotforbrownnose said...

Oh Anon:
Your comment slays me! I know for a fact that Brownnose takes his dose of Viagra each and every day!

However we will never delete your comment or ask for your identity (LC? PG? RW?). We welcome all comments even those that oppose the Great LGF. We are an equal opportunity comment blog.

At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, but you guys are not taken seriously and come off to neutral people like a little club of teenage rebels. You write for eachother only.

At 6:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a neutral with no leg in either camp I find this blog very funny and at times insightful.

Keep up the posts

At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe this blog is only meant for our little teenage rebel club. However, there is a commentor on Edwize who writes in exactly the style of Brownnose and there are also many other Edwize bloggers who come across as zealots for Unity's point of view while discounting those with opposite opinions. Why else delete comments? Why else keep under wraps the new provision in the contract? When Randi wants us to know something, letters usually go out informing all members immediately, not the newspapers.

If Unity does not address the retention issue because it is too politically volatile, then where is the justice to those teachers who serve in these schools, and how will the retention issue ever be solved? Another blogger who supported the contract wrote that the DOE should conduct exit interviews. How naive does she think the DOE and Unity are? Of course they know the reasons teachers leave. So instead of addressing the social issues, Randi agrees to $1.5 million to throw down the drain. Do you really think these new teachers will remain if nothing else is changed?

This blog may be stale to you, but it sheds light on the real people who run Unity for me.

So, if this blog is for only us insiders, then I for one am glad to be part of the fun! And, you have the power not to log on if it upsets you. However, you will never be deleted and anonymous comments will always be welcomed.

At 5:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like this blog very much. It's a lot better than Edwize, which goesout ofits way to avoid talking about things that really affect working teachers.

Also, i recognize the style of the writer they are parodying, and it's just like this--thick, pompous, and incomprehensible.

It's a lot more imaginative than the juvenile insults of Unity supporters.


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