Thursday, January 05, 2006

More Goodness from Unity: The New Toilet Initiative

We at Unity have already brought you the wonderful addition of extra soft, double-ply toilet paper to all DOE bathrooms in the last contract negotiations. Le Gran Fromage, always thinking, has decided she should remain fixated on the bathroom for the next negotiation, and is thinking of demanding the following from Mayor Bloomberg and/or the City of New York in the next contract:

1. Soap to be placed in all DOE bathrooms that doesn't feel dirtier than actual dirt or make you want to run your hands along the ground until all such soap had been scraped clean from your skin

2. New toilet seats to be placed on all DOE toilets. The old days of clinging to the sides of the stall and/or just going with the flow will end if Le Gran Fromage has her way and teachers of all stripes will be zooming along in comfort soon.

3. The new, cleaner soap demand will be useless if most DOE bathrooms continue to lack running water. Therefore Le Gran Fromage will be demanding that all DOE bathrooms be fixed maybe by the time the next contract expires, which is possibly in 2010 if all goes well with everything that could go well. This new "water" demand remains only a possibility, though like the 25/55 pension change, it will likely be a very great possibility in the near or semi-far future.

4. Many doors to the DOE bathroom stalls have been removed in the past and used to construct furniture for the teachers' lunchroom and/or lounge. These DOE bathroom stall doors will now be returned to their rightful places in DOE bathrooms and teachers will just have to find something else to eat around or sleep on during their off periods. Since there will be less off periods in subsequent contracts, this should not be a problem anyway.

5. Finally, Le Gran Fromage and Unity will insist that all teachers who have been given "potty patrol" for their professional assignments will only be required to carry around a plunger and snake as part of their "potty patrol uniform." Unity will argue that the full complement of plumber paraphernalia is too cumbersome for teachers to lug around while "facilitating with the ingress and egress of said person or persons into or out of restroom facilities." In addition, Unity will note that teachers are actually professionals trained in education, not plumbing. Therefore teachers cannot be expected to fix more than backed-up sink or overstuffed toilet in DOE bathrooms without the DOE providing more training and/or professional development in this area. If such training and/or professional development is provided for in this area by the DOE, Unity will insist teachers receive a free DOE issue plunger/snake as part of their training. As a long-time teacher herself, Le Gran Fromage knows that a prepared teacher is a successful teacher.

These toilet initiative demands, if successful, will restore the respect and dignity that teachers feel they have lost in recent years. We here in the Unity caucus know that teaching is all about respect and dignity and this is why we are insisting that the mayor take the next contract negotiation sessions and place them where they belong - in the bathroom.


At 5:06 PM, Anonymous I.P. Daily said...

Wow! You mean that I no longer have to go in a common bucket in the middle of the classroom with the kids? I no longer have to use the students' compositions as toilet paper? Wow!

At 5:17 PM, Anonymous Michelle Rodent, Elementary VP said...

It must have been embarassing to turn-and-talk during those moments. Sure hope you didn't get anything on the rug!

At 6:39 PM, Blogger An Educational Voyage said...

An interim solution is simple: Saw a hole in the seat of the classroom "Rocking Chair" and put your bucket underneath. Voila- instant teacha-potty. Shy teachers can drag it behind their desk for a bit more privacy. This convenient teacha-potty keeps the rug clean! Rather than using student papers, may I suggest using the sacred memos from the DOE? This what they are especially good for. The compositions really are supposed to be strung across the classroom with string. This creates a wonderful decoration possibility of string off a privacy area! You get to follow a DOE mandate AND create the privacy area. There is also the option of holding it in, like holding your breath, while awaiting improvements...

At 9:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I use my Teacher's Choice for plumbing supplies?

At 10:52 AM, Anonymous slo nappz said...

This bathroom problem will not be resolved until we end the government monopoly and start a voucher system!

At 10:53 AM, Anonymous Maysee said...

As you can see, we at Unity are finally getting our priorities straight! Our only concern is the "Fact-Finders" will insist on more time for commode time.

However, we at Unity make you this promise:
No decision will be made without conferring with DC37. As always we will do whatever it takes away from previous contracts to get crap-pers.

At 12:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

More money going down the toilet...

In the past, Reading Specialists, Literacy Coaches and some 4th and 8th grade teachers would spend one week grading papers at the local District Office. (All for the cost of a delicious breakfast and lunch provided by thoses wonderful chefs at Food Services.)

Grading fed test will cost $10M

The city will spend up to $10 million in additional pay for thousands of teachers who will spend their midwinter break and two vacation days scoring thousands of high-stakes state exams.
The first part of the tests - used to help determine which students advance to the next grade - will be given next week to third- through eighth-graders. A second round is scheduled for March.

The exams, required under the federal No Child Left Behind Act, are similar to city-sponsored tests that students have taken for several years.

But instead of asking only multiple-choice questions, the new exams will also feature essay questions and mathematics problem-solving that can be scored only by trained educators.

Up to 24,000 teachers have volunteered for the work, said Lori Mei, the city's top testing official.

They'll be paid a flat hourly rate that Mei estimated will cost city taxpayers $8million to $10 million.

At the same time, the city will save $2million as the state takes over the cost of creating student performance reports for parents. The city will continue to pay the $3.7 million it has every year for its own testing program.

The new information is worth it, Mei said.

"When you do multiple-choice-only you're measuring comprehension and knowledge, but with these tests you're also getting breadth, you're evaluating writing as well," she said.

The tests are a dramatic expansion of the state's student assessment program, which was previously administered only to fourth- and eighth-graders.

Final results will not be available until August or September, state officials said.

But city schools will have enough feedback by June to know which kids need summer school to avoid repeating a grade, officials said.

At 2:38 PM, Anonymous loyalist said...

You see, we at Unity, by dumping money down the toilet are blazing a trail. Now others are following in our footsteps.

At 3:24 PM, Blogger Cleo Lacey said...


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