Friday, December 30, 2005

HELP! Damaged Fromage

I need help from my esteemed and wonderful colleagues in Unity, colleagues who have sacrificed countless minutes, hours, days, years, decades of loyal service to the minions who toil in anonymous abstinence from the spoils of the beneficence of Unity membership.

While doing my hourly genuflection to the 20 foot tall statue of Le Gran Fromage I have in my bedroom, my pith helmet, with the lovely coal minor light (see, I'm not just an arrogant schmuck, but truly of the working class) accidentally stuck a corner of Ms. Fromage and knocked a piece off. The Unity Policing Unit (the dreaded UPU) is due within the hour for their daily inspection and search of my premises for contraband ICE materials and will undoubtedly see the damage to Fromage. I need an emergency repair immediately. Any suggestions?

5 Comments:

At 3:02 AM, Anonymous footsoldier said...

You will never rise to the level of beg cheese with this sort of carelessness. I'm very disappointed in you.

 
At 3:18 AM, Blogger Unity Hack said...

And to think, brownnose was once on the running for Minister of Truthiness. I should have been Minister of Truthiness, instead of what I am, which is hung over from Le Gran Fromage's party.

Maybe brownnose isn't really Unity material.

 
At 3:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The UPU? Might as well give yourself up,nose.

 
At 3:46 AM, Anonymous tony "the jellyfish" soprano said...

Yo! Fuggetaboutit! You're going to be sleeping with the fishes for this one. Hey, that's what you secrectly wanted anyway.
You'll know you're about to get whacked when Le Gran presses your cheeks together and plants you one your kisser.
I hear she hired Lacey for the hit. I wouldof gone with an outside contract--someone from AFT.

 
At 9:45 AM, Anonymous slo nappz said...

This PROVES that we need vouchers to bust the government public school monopoly!

 

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